Much Overdue Update

Hello my four followers!

Sorry for the emotion-ridden last few posts; I promise I started to blog about something completely different, but my fingers just led me to unload.

Now for an update.

This semester is absolutely bonkers.  Twelve hours of graduate school, two jobs, and a new addiction to cooking leads to very little time for yours truly.  Don't get me wrong-- I absolutely LOVE everything I am doing.  Particularly school; I finally feel like I am being challenged to grow in limitless ways and push my knowledge to the limits.  Not only do I get to research current hot-topics in education, but I get to dialectically debate these dilemmas with professionals... with complete understanding that the debate is purely for educational purposes and not for unloading personal agendas.  I LOVE IT!  Last semester (with almost all online classes) I found myself ardently missing academic debates and classroom culture... now I have it in spades.  Downside:  I have three 20+ page research papers to write this semester and an average of 200-300 pages to read each week :-s We'll see how that goes.

Now for the anxiety.

Chad has been very fortunate as a result of the on-campus career fair and has TWO job interviews in the next week.  One in Fort Worth, TX and the other in Little Rock, AR.  In this time of economic uncertainty for both education and engineering, I am absolutely thrilled that he has these amazing opportunities.  But, for those of you who know me know that I am a planner.  I create long term goals and find security in certainty.  Not knowing what or even where we are going to be in a few short months is hard... particularly since my dream job opened up in Kansas City.  Although this is a particularly stressful and anxious time, both Chad and I have resigned ourselves to the fact that we have absolutely no control over this situation and leave our lives in the hands of our Lord and pray that He will guide us where He needs us to be.  But as a planner, this is very hard for me to do and quite scary. 

On a lighter note.

Chad and I had a fantastic first Valentines (and celebration of 6 months of marriage).  Although we have been in Manhattan now for 5 years, we had not visited 4 Olives.  I've always wanted to go there to see what all the hubbub was about... and Chad surprised me with reservations (made a month in advance!) for two to 4 Olives Valentine's evening.  All I have to say is... WONDERFUL!

I have this horrible habit of not taking pictures, but wanted to describe to you the most wonderful and thoughtful card I could ever receive.  So here's what it said:

"Sometimes you surprise me by asking if I still love you, still find you beautiful...
And I wonder, how could you not know?
My love for you is so strong that I think the whole world must see it.
The slightest though of you during the day still excites me.
And when I see you, all I can think about is that moment when our lips will touch.
Time could never dim my love for you, because with every beat of my heart, I only want you more."

And then Chad added a note which I will keep private... but was definitely needed.  It's crazy to think we've been together this long (almost 6 years) and we still get butterflies in our stomachs.  It's also crazy to think how things will be 50 years from now.

Well, I am going to go round off my marathon day of homework with some more reading and writing a 5 page paper.

Hope everyone is staying warm on this blustery evening :)

Love and Devotion: Family Edition

Shortly after my last post announcing the birth of my newest nephew, my paternal grandfather, GreGre, passed away. Some of you may not know this but GreGre was to perform our wedding ceremony but fell into ill health mere weeks prior to the ceremony. As a Methodist minister, GreGre officiated over every family wedding including my parents', aunts' and uncles', sisters' and cousins'; and it has always been a dream of mine to have my grandfather place his hand over my husband and my hands as he bestows upon us the blessing. Of course, after his health took a turn for the worse, I reconciled to the fact that this dream would not occur. Throughout the past four months, my family kept in constant contact with my Mississippi relatives (my dad made the arduous 12 hour drive down there at least a dozen times) to check up on GreGre, although we all knew it was just a matter of time. After 87 years of a wonderful, spiritual life, it was GreGre's time to be reunited with his Savior-- his King with whom he devoutly followed and preached His message to thousands of Mississippians. Perhaps most profoundly was GreGre's dedication to helping the homeless children of Jackson, MS as he fed, clothed, and sheltered thousands of children throughout his stint as the Methodist Children's Home director (I always knew my family was large... but not quite that large!)

After celebrating the lives of two other grandparents, I honestly have to say that this was the most emotional funeral I have ever been to. Most of you who know me know that I can hold my emotions in check very well. Although I like to cry at sappy movies, I rarely cry in public. Not this time. The most beautiful and bittersweet moment of the weekend was at the visitation (which happened to be on my father's 65th birthday). Our family had just met Andrew (my new nephew who was born just days prior to my grandfather's passing) at the visitation. As a birthday request, my father asked to hold his baby grandson and whispered, "Let's go meet GreGre." My father and Andrew, followed by Andrew's siblings and myself, walked over to the open casket where my dad spoke to his father for the last time and said some of the most beautiful words I have ever heard:

"Daddy, meet Andrew, your newest great-grandson. We will love him and nurture him as you have all of us throughout your years on Earth. I want you to tell Momma, 'Thank you for watching over Andrew in Heaven and for sending him to us safely.' I also want you to know, Daddy, that my beautiful family is here because of you and your love for Momma. Without you, none of us would be here. We are your legacy and we will honor you and Momma by bestowing upon Andrew and all of Charlotte's and my children and grandchildren an honest and good love, a faith-full love-- for that is what you and Momma gave to us. I love you, Daddy, and I will see you again."

Watching my dad hold the very tiny, premature baby over the casket as he spoke heartfelt words to his father was one of the hardest and most precious experiences of my life. And although I don't do my fathers monologue justice, the meaning remains the same: faith-full love and devotion for family.

Friends come and go, although a few will remain, but family is forever. You can work hard all of your life, make a name for yourself in the professional world-- even contribute meaningfully to the growth and development of future professionals. But your life's greatest accomplishment is your family. They are your legacy-- the manifestation of two people's love for each other and the beginning of selfless love and devotion for one another.

It is easy to lose the importance of family as the professional world dominates our thoughts and actions. I hope to remember my dad leaning over his father's casket with Andrew for the rest of my life and when I lose focus on what truly matters--faith-full love and devotion for my family-- I will earnestly find my way back to the right path.

I know we all have vignettes like mine, moments that sear into our hearts and change our lives forever. I would love to hear yours! What moment in life will remain with you and serve has a guidepost for you when you find you've lost your way?

Happy Birthday!

Just in case you didn't see my text messages or Facebook posts... my nephew Andrew Thomas Illa was born at 12:52 PM weighing 5 lbs 12 oz. Not too shabby for being a month early :)

Fantastic day for the Morrow/Mowe/Illa and now Banka families!!

I'll post pictures when I get them... so PUMPED!

Baby Steps

Friday marked the first, very official career fair for yours truly... and I was completely unprepared. For some unknown reason, I never received any email notification or anything. Luckily, Twitter saved the day as one of my undergrad friends commented on how he was heading out to the event. I threw on my clothes, printed off countless resumes, and slammed my portfolio all into a shiny black purse and flew to the Alumni building.

And... I think it went really well! I talked to all the major districts in the KC area and got beyond excited. It seems like now is the perfect time for math educators and waiting a year will pay off. Blue Valley is opening an entirely new high school next year, Gardner already has a high school position open and will be conducting interviews soon, and Kansas City Kansas PS seems really engaged and enthusiastic.

But... where will we be in a year? I know I've alluded to this, but there's a 50/50 chance that we won't even be back in the KC area next year. It all depends on where my man gets a job. Where ever that will be it's where God needs us to be... I just hope that I am able to find a teaching job in a relatively timely fashion to prevent inevitable panic attacks, sleepless nights and information overload of cramming an entire year worth of planning into a month at best.

If push comes to shove and I don't find a job in a timely fashion, I will grit my teeth and survive. Better people than I have escaped frantic planning with minor bumps and bruises; I hope I can model after them!

In addition to day dreaming about future vocational opportunities, Chad and I have become quite the culinary cavaliers! In the last week we've made creamy chicken enchiladas, turkey sandwiches with a mock aoli spread, biscuits and gravy (my very first gravy!), and la piece de la resistance: Chicken Cordon Bleu with sinfully creamy mashed potatoes, roasted carrots and a divine butter gravy. Although it took 2 hours to cook, both of us gleamed with pride as we sat at the table reminiscing over past food-failures. And after all that cooking, neither one of us was hungry enough to eat the food!!

This week will be a slightly less demanding menu on both my time and waistline (oh, but it was SO good!) with the major meal being Chicken Parmigiana from scratch to celebrate our 3rd month of marriage. It's been so long since Chad and I have counted month-iversaries. It's kinda cute! On the 15th, it will be 3 months of marriage and a week shy of 5 years, 5 months dating.

Oh my, time flies!

Diversity in Technology Assignment

According to the article, "The Digital Divide: Where We Are," the digital divide is defined as the gap between the communities or individuals that have, and do not have, access to information technologies. Even though technology seems to integrate itself in our daily lives more than ever, the simple fact remains that not everyone has equal access to the digital information highway and as a result, are left behind in analogue abyss. The United States boasts one of the most technology prolific populations in the world but yet has millions of people lacking internet access at home. In a society that assumes internet availability to all (particularly in modern schools), many people simply can not afford the monthly connection bill. In a livelihood so dependent on immediate access to infinite bytes of information, those that do not have access to the internet are at a distinct disadvantage in staying current and marketable in our job market. This particular article highlighted race and socio-economic reasons for the digital divide in the United States.

As a teacher, we must be sensitive to the digital divide when assigning homework, class projects, and communicating with the student and family. In order to comprehend better how people of different ages, races, genders, and countries of origin access technology, we were assigned to interview a student. For those of you that don't know, I am not currently teaching. So finding a student to interview (that's not my husband or friends) was perplexing. That's when I decided to implement the power of Twitter and my personal learning network (PLN) to complete the assignment. Using Google Docs, I created a fillable form to distribute via direct messages and general posts to various teachers on Twitter. I was amazed to see quick reactions of support and enthusiasm from teachers all over the world! Although only four people responded in the short time-frame, I gleaned information from: a 16-year-old, African-American female from Ohio; a mid-50's, African-American female from Kansas City, MO; a 52-year-old Hispanic male from Mexico; and a 23-year-old, Caucasian female from Finland. Responses describing the types of technology revealed heavy professional uses of computers and different programs for the older participants whereas the younger students demonstrated their preference for mobile technology such as cell phones, GPS, and laptops for continuous social communication. Usage preferences were also demonstrated when participants described their favorite technologies. The older participants, and fellow math-nerds, described their love for mathematical programs such as Mathematica and Fraqtive for pattern observation and fractal creation whereas the younger participants again listed mobile technology. The American teenager's response depicted the stereotypical tech-addicted teen by using the internet to socialize, entertain and learn whereas the Finnish young-adult described her desire to resist digital addiction by checking Facebook only once a week and leaving her cell phone at home most days.

Overall, the survey was completely biased as I interviewed students by using technology, but I found the responses very interesting. As I am maturing, I find my personal use of technology morphing from purely social (AIM and Xanga, anyone?) to endless professional development and intense learning. If I had a chance to redo the assignment, I would have asked more thought provoking questions and perhaps used Skype to interview them "personally."

Alfredo Sauce

The Colorful Chicken Alfredo from Kevin and Amanda's blog was absolutely delicious! (See button on right hand side to access their recipes). The only thing that didn't work out so well was the sauce. Unfortunately, I didn't have any fresh parmigiana cheese, so the sauce never thickened up. BUT it tasted glorious!

Will definitely be cooking that one again... with real cheese. And if it still doesn't thicken up, then I'll try my hand at a rue.

The one thing I LOVE about her site is that it shows pictures of her preparing the meal. I even learned how to properly julienne a pepper :) Also, this recipe had you make chicken broth and called for extra peppers than needed... but have no fear, she talks about how she saves her food for other recipes. :) Our foodsaver is, literally, a life saver (and money saver).

Next week, Chicken Cordon Bleu with Roasted Carrots and Creamy Cheesy Chicken Enchiladas. This weekend cooking my absolutely fantastic Taco Soup for the fam-damly and then trying out a chocolate peanut butter cake.

Let you know how those go!

Friendship

Saturday's conference was absolutely incredible. At first, I was a little hesitant because I knew the chances of women my age attending were slim-to-none. Although that little fact turned true, I met some absolutely amazing and inspiring women and contributed to highly intellectual and motivating conversations all day.

It was refreshing, recharging and re-motivating.

The most important topic I gleaned from the conference was how crucial it is to find a mentor-- a friend in your life that will look at you and tell you the honest-to-God truth. A friend who isn't afraid to sugar coat the truth to save your vanity but will unleash the most ruthless of criticisms with a heart full of love and support and a shoulder ready to catch your tears.

How many of us honestly have a friend like that now?

I've had friends like that in the past but since we're in such a huge transition phase right now (my mentor moved to PA)... it's hard to maintain the strong friendships we had in high school and college. We're all starting new adventures: marriage; graduate school; first real job; moving to a new state or home; or a combination of the above. And though the bonds of friendship will always be strong and distance does make the heart grow fonder, the fact that we're absent from our best friends makes it nearly impossible to stay up to date and truthful. Although you're excited to start your new adventure, do you have just a twinge of homesickness for the way things were? Or do you feel just a little bit more alone because you've diverged on an entirely new and foreign path?

I do. I feel anxious, lonely, excited and just plain scared. At the meeting, I realized that the only mentor I have is my mother. Which is not a bad thing at all because I have learned invaluable lessons from her while having the assurance of a mother's love to guide me back to the right path, even if it does require a few more mascara stains on my bathroom and closet floors. I need a girl-friend around my age where the two-way street of loving criticism runs both ways. Yet, with all these changes arising in all of our lives, I think I will have to wait until the dust settles and we all achieve a slightly stronger grasp on our newly chaotic lives... whenever that happens :)

Although Chad is my best friend and life partner, he can not possibly understand all the emotion driven rampages of the female brain and quite frankly, I don't want him to. There's a reason God made both women and men... so that we can be different but complement and motivate each other through those differences.

Anyway, if you get one thing out of this post: find your mentor. If you have one already, hold on to her. If you don't, good luck! I'll be searching with you :)

Check ya later y'all :)